adoption, family

Home Again: the Prodigal Son Returns

He’s home. He’s finally home. If I peek into his room I can barely make out his sleeping form beneath the covers and beneath the dog. The huge sense of relief I feel overwhelms me even now. I am not even sure where to begin with this post.

 Marcus, our “prodigal” son will turn 20 next week. Some of you may remember when he disrupted from our home after a tumultuous few months prior to what would have been his adoption. (Thank you, by the way, for all of your kind emails and comments.)

This happened rather suddenly. He’d just been to see us for a visit on his brother Carl’s birthday. I think it reminded him what being in a family looks like. I believe that in this trip we somehow managed to show Marcus we were really there for him. Despite the fact that we never officially adopted him, we are here in all the ways that really count.

It happened during a workshop I attended. There was a panel of former foster youth speaking about what they wished foster/adoptive parents knew. I will never forget the one young man who had moved “home” at 25 after the death of his biological mother. He affectionately referred to the couple next to him as his parents. He had no hesitation about belonging to more than one family.

I’m embarrassed to say that I started tearing up as he told his story. I mean, how on earth did they convince him that it was OK to love two families? How was he so well-adjusted? Did it come with time? Would we ever get there with Marcus? Because honestly? Dropping him off and leaving was the hardest thing to do.

Right in the middle of the panel I got a message from him: “I need a place to stay. Can you please pick me up?” Life is full of strange coincidences. I know it wasn’t ideal for him to get kicked out of the place he was staying. I know he can only manage a few months of love and family at a time. I know this may not Work out well at all. I know he is on his way to Job Corps as soon as his medical clears.  I’m happy about it all the same. Because I am not perfect.  Because I am selfish. Because I missed my son.

 

**Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

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9 thoughts on “Home Again: the Prodigal Son Returns

  1. Julie Bartolini says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. Your journey with Marcus always mirrors my journey with my son. Never adopted but belongs to 2 families-comes and goes as needed but always knows his heart is loved and welcome here. He came to us at 16 and is almost 23 now. His bio mother is ill and I figure he won’t have endless years with her and he didn’t have his early years so he clings to the time he does have. I wonder what things will look like when she is gone. I’m glad Marcus is home…For now… Julie

    One way to make a difference in the lives of the kids at Firm Foundation Youth Homes is through the Arizona Foster Tax Credit. Find out more https://secure.piryx.com/donate/TvA4xkI2/Hope-a-future/firm-foundations or Facebook >

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  2. Pingback: One Last Adoption: the Prodigal Son | Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care

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