adoption, family

Keeping Our Teeth for Easter

We made it. We survived Easter, albeit with some causalities. Holidays never go off without a hitch around here. Sometimes the family togetherness triggers our kids. Sometimes all of the sugar sets off a chain reaction of, “Yikes!” Sometimes wanting a nice-holiday-where-no-one-screams-and-everyone-keeps-their-teeth triggers me!

The morning started out in typical Ester fashion. We hid the eggs and placed the Easter Baskets out. I brought Mary her Easter goods on Friday afternoon at her residential setting. We had things for both boys because, even though Marcus is really too old (20) he never got to have many of these experiences when he was young. Every time we have a holiday he gets crazily excited and says things like, “Me too? WOW!”

What went well: Carl ran around excitedly, squealing, and finding eggs. He even played outside with the kickball that was in his Easter Basket. I got my own basket with soothing essential oils for my diffuser, and a new coffee-maker. Coffee is my drug of choice…

What went considerably less-well: Marcus refused to get up and join the family festivities. He moaned and groaned and texted his newest Toxic Girlfriend instead. He didn’t acknowledge our presence or say one word to us. When I called Mary to wish her a happy holiday, she was short and angry with me. She did not call me back again.

Easter dinner rolled around at Nana and Papa’s house.

What went well: Luke made a great ham and my mother cooked delicious sides. She also baked an incredible orange cake. She gave Carl and Marcus each a chocolate bunny (I brought Mary’s to her on Friday.)

What went considerably less-well: Marcus refused to get out of the car for the first half-hour we were there. After we started dinner he came in, sat down, and stared morosely at his empty plate for another half-hour. He ignored all of us. He ignored his chocolate bunny. Eventually he texted me that he needed a “walk” and began the journey home all the way across town.

We started to pull away after dinner (with orange cake in tow!) to look for Marcus on the way home. I glanced at Carl and saw his eyes well up with tears. When questioned he admitted he missed his Papa and wanted to stay longer. 

What went well: Nana and Papa kept Carl for the evening. Luke and I found Marcus halfway home on the side of the road and picked him up. Then he went to work and we had….THREE WHOLE HOURS OF ALONE TIME!!!!!

Needless to say, by the time Carl was dropped off I was feeling quite refreshed.

What went considerably less-well: When it was time for Carl to leave Nana and Papa’s, he had a mini-meltdown. My mother is great about giving him advance warning to help with the transition. However, he still scribbled all over their game pad and whacked his brother’s chocolate bunny against the table repeatedly. I told Nana to go ahead and eat that poor bunny!

Once Carl was home he looked exhausted and we put him to bed. During this time he realized that the next day was a school day. 

What went well: After mom-and-dad time I was feeling pretty mellow. I also had a chance to use my new calming essential oils.

What went considerably less-well: Carl had his typical night-panic and got up over and over (and over) again. At first he got Mirilax in his eye somehow and felt he needed medical attention. Although laxatives to the eye may be uncomfortable, they don’t usually warrant a trip to the emergency room. Next, Carl induced vomiting three times. That didn’t entice us stay up and party all night, forgoing school in the morning. So he ripped out a tooth. Yes, you read that correctly.

He ripped out a tooth!

It was a baby tooth for sure, but it wasn’t loose. Unfortunately for Carl, his exhausted parents advised him to leave the tooth on the table and go to bed. Since it wasn’t to the level of accidental-eye-laxative-exposure we decided wisely to go to bed.

Here’s to hoping that next holiday everybody keeps their teeth.

**Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.


8 thoughts on “Keeping Our Teeth for Easter

  1. Kelsey Richards says:


    My name is Kelsey. I’m a mom of two boys, 12 and 3 years old. I’ve been reading your updates for about 6 months or so. I think the world of what you’re doing for your family- all of you, yourself included, and I’m rooting for you! I found a board book for my youngest (maybe he’s too old for board books, and maybe I was looking through the board books in order to keep him young in my mind for a few more minutes, but that’s beside the point). The book I found hit home for me- hard- and it reminded me a lot of you and the struggles you and your family are working through. It’s called “No Matter What,” by Debi Gliori. At the risk of some sort of copyright infringement, I’m copying it below for you, because I think it’s one of the best reminders of why we parent that I’ve ever come across, and maybe it will ring true with you as well. If it helps to imagine it, the main characters are kangaroos 🙂

    It begins:

    Small was feeling grim and grumpy. “Good grief,” said Large. “What is the matter?” “I’m grim and grumpy,” said little Small, “and I don’t think you love me at all.” “Oh, Small,” said Large, “grumpy or not, I’ll always love you, no matter what.” “If I were a grumpy grizzly bear, would you still love me? Would you still care?” “Of course,” said Large. “Bear or not, I’ll always love you, no matter what.” “But if I turned into a squishy bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?” “Of course,” said Large. “Bug or not, I’d always love you, no matter what.” “No matter what?” Said Small with a smile. “What if I were a crocodile?” “I’d still hold you close and snug and tight, and tuck you up into bed each night.” “But does love wear out? Does it break or bend? Can you fix it or patch it? Does it mend?” “With time together, a smile, and a kiss- love can be mended with things like this.” “But what about when you’re far away? Does your love go to, or does it stay?” “Look up at the stars. They’re far, far away. But their light reaches us at the end of each day.” “It’s like that with love- we may be close, we may be far, but our love still surrounds us… wherever we are.”

    Maybe it’s a bit cheesy, but sometimes that’s just what I need. All my love to you and your sometimes grim, sometimes grumpy, sometimes tooth-pulling, sometimes far away family.


    On Mon, Apr 2, 2018 at 11:30 AM, Herding Chickens and Other Adventures


  2. silveryew says:

    Oh bless you. Marcus seems to have such a hard time with getting closer and dealing with the dreaded f word (family). I am glad though that Carl was brave enough to say that he missed his Papa and wanted to stay longer. Here’s to a less dramatic Easter next year!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: The Good, the Bad, the Birthday | Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care

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