family

When it Rains it- it’s a Freakin’ Hurricane!

I just can’t win for trying around here. Everything was all planned out for my back surgery at the end of this month. We had support for the kids, Luke was ready to cover all of the Mary visits and the driving. We were ALL SET. That’s when the figurative torrential downpour started.

I am looking at my life today thinking…what happened?!??

A few weeks ago Luke mentioned he needed to see the eye doctor. He wanted to wait for my employer to deposit their contribution into our HSA. Yesterday morning he woke up and couldn’t see out of his left eye. He can’t make anything out at all unless he is using peripheral vision with that eye. Our optometrist opened her office up just for him (thank goodness) even though it was her vacation.

After examining him she showed us a picture of an alarming amount of fluid build up behind his left retina and a possible tear. She called a surgeon and we left her office to go straight there! I called my parents to be there when Carl got off the bus, and possibly through his in-home counseling appointment.

As it turns out Luke needs ASAP eye surgery in two days but his vision should come back. However, he has to be out of work for 3-4 weeks and during that entire time he is supposed to be lying face down.

???!!!???#@#?!

I’m ashamed to admit that I cried about it. I didn’t cry for my poor blind husband, like a good wife. I cried because I was afraid he wouldn’t be there for my surgery when I woke up. I need him. Luke is my touchstone when I am scared. My parents will be traveling out-of-state until after my surgery. I mean I really really really need him!

I cried because I didn’t know who would visit Mary at RTC. If Luke can’t go then she’s left to feel abandoned by yet another set of parents. I cried because I didn’t know who would manage the cooking and the cleaning. We were going to hire someone but not if Luke isn’t collecting salary for a month! Was I going to have to run Carl’s 13th birthday party alone? All by myself????

There is a small-hearted, selfish part of me that is looking out for my own interests. I was so wrapped up in panic, I forgot that a decent human being would care about her husband. Instead, I was mad he didn’t schedule the eye appointment earlier. After all, emergencies are supposed to fit into my meticulously calculated schedule! Detours from the plan are not allowed!!

Today I woke up with a new outlook. I’m ready to do some planning. I’ll try to pre-prepare a bunch of meals we can just re-heat while Luke and I are recovering. I called friends and arranged rides and child care. Luke is going to the hospital with me. He wants to remain there, face down, for the duration of my surgery. I won’t be alone. My parents are going to visit Yary in our absence. With Nana and Papa she won’t be alone.

Today I want to be more empathetic. Today I’d like to type with fewer exclamation points needed. Today I want to be sweet and loving to my poor broken spouse. Today I am going to try to be more like Luke.

**Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

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13 thoughts on “When it Rains it- it’s a Freakin’ Hurricane!

  1. The full-on storm is not funny. I will admit I smiled when you said your first reaction was, “What? How am I going to get life done without him!” I have said that myself.
    Soon after our second adoption was in progress, and we had our 5 yr old and now a 1 year old, my husband came down with mono. Really bad mono. He was hospitalized on the far side of the city about 90 minutes away by subway then bus. We were living in Hong Kong. The fun piece is that there family is expected to provide meals and personal care for the patient. How could I do that?!
    We also had to kinda keep his illness under wraps so the social worker didn’t know. We were in a six-month waiting period before the second adoption was finalized. We also could not leave Hong Kong with the little one. In hindsight, it would have been good to petition for an early court date and we should have returned to the US for my husband to recover. 20/20 hindsight!
    Anyway, that little guy is now a dad himself, successful in his career, healthy and happy. My husband did eventually recover, after a relapse from going back to work too soon. I’m sure glad we rode out that storm!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. silveryew says:

    Ohhh my goodness, it never rains bur pours. Thank goodness for your parents and for that you have each other. I totally get how the best laid plans often go awry. Husband has had to have a 24 EEG this month so needed collecting from the hospital and then bringing back in the morning as he felt quite self conscious of how he looked all wired up. I don’t drive and we had the builders at home so Husband’s parents were going to collect him. Cue the morning of the appointment and while he’s in, Husband’s mother calls, saying they have just driven off and discovered a flat tyre. I started to panic as I was genuinely not sure how we’d get Husband home, but thank goodness the AA van came quickly and put the reserve tire on so he could be collected.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. 😦 So sorry! It’s ok. Incidentally, my mom had this exact thing happen at the beginning of the year and made a full recovery. One thing that I got her that made a huge difference in being face down during the initial recovery was buying her a massage table face cradle: (https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B003EMSLN4/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) along with a cushion. It increased her comfort a lot; she just slide it under her on the bed and hung off the end. 🙂 My dad put her tablet under her so she could watch netflix with her good eye! 🙂 It ended up being helpful for my dad (who was taking care of her) as well since it reduced his stress on how to keep her face down!

    Hang in there! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. Ours came in today. It looks like a torture device to me but it’s actually quite comfortable! I got a table top version, too. I’m glad to hear it helps because I’ve been throwing money at this problem!! Glad to hear your mom is doing well.

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