adoption, family

The Prodigal Returns (Again)

Marcus is home. We finally convinced him to come home, at least for a little while. He’s here so that we can take him to get a new driver’s license at the DMV. He can’t get a job without it.

He’s also here because he needed me to help him write his appeal letter to Job Corps. As much as he wanted to leave there previously, he now wants to stay. He’s depressed and mad at himself for the way he reacted to the girl that threatened him.

Marcus is an odd duck this way. He always wants what he doesn’t have. He knows he gets triggered and that his reactions are extreme. He understands it’s not ok to react with rage and violence. At the same time he often feels as though it’s someone else’s fault.

Tonight he’s trying to explain that he’s been thinking of self-harming. He claims to have two separate people inside him that want different things. He wants to do well but a part of him wants to mess everything up. He does honestly believe he has someone else inside of him.

I wish Marcus could see that the thing he is fighting is trauma. To that end I’ve scheduled an emergency appointment with L, our local super-hero trauma therapist. She’s the only one he’ll see anyway. His comments about wishing himself to die or to hurt are something I take seriously.

Hopefully he stays at home for awhile. We can focus on his mental health in a way his sister won’t. He certainly won’t face these issues on his own.

Please stay this time, Marcus. Please put in the work. Trust me, you’re worth it.

**Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

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12 thoughts on “The Prodigal Returns (Again)

  1. I hope he stays for a while. I have a child that fights a similar fight, one that shouldn’t even be a battle. Our are there for him, and your love is unconditional. At least he has that❤️.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. C says:

    I am sorry Marcus is feeling so down and I hope he is able to accept and participate in treatment. The fact that he feels like there are two conflicting people inside him gives me a little bit of hope that he will. It shows insight and it that he knows there is another way to live life. One thing that might be helpful is having him write a letter to the side that wants to mess things up about why that side needs to go. It helps develop goals and dreams. Also might help vent some anger. He can keep it as evidence that he want to and knows he can do better. Maybe have Mary tell him how much treatment can help. Godspeed Marcus!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. bunnyhabit says:

    do marc say where he goes and why or secret from every other person? knowing can probably help you cage him better

    Like

  4. It’s good to know that today he is safe and being smart. When he is just a few steps along and feeling better about himself, I hope and pray he will stay put a little linger to let the healing dislodge the fear.
    Our adopted daughter still boots when any kind of closeness approaches. At 37, that makes her life one series of bounces from one relationship to the next. We love her so much! Thankfully she stays connected to us.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Beth says:

    I think his concept of having two people inside him is pretty insightful. it means he’s recognizing on some level that he is sabotaging himself. it’s something the therapist can try to build on. him reaching out to you and being willing to talk to her is a good sign too.

    I know things with Marcus are nowhere near what you hoped for when you first came into his life – but remember hat he is in a much, much better place than he would have been if you had not come along. hugs.

    Like

  6. Pingback: The Prodigal Returns (Again) – Foster Parents Article – Parents Blog

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